Self-Indulgence

Number of times I started this entry from scratch: 4

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There is at least one way in which my being so unprecedentedly busy has been a blessing: it helped me stick to my guns when I ended a relationship this week. I haven't even given it a thought. This is a big deal because I am notoriously poor at not giving people so many more chances than I set out to give them. I did what was best, and now I don't have a minute to give that a second thought.

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There is a young boy at the afterschool program who is just learning English as his second language. He's pretty fluent while speaking now but his reading is far, far behind where you would expect a native speaker's to be at his age. When I started reading with him, he could not read the most basic sentences and he had no awareness of basic mixed sounds, such as "sh," "ch," or "ing." He would avoid reading and homework with everything in him, probably because it was just one long lesson in how much he did not know. Today he read me The Giving Tree with remarkably little help, and it was a beautiful moment. My favorite part, sans the stumbles:

"But the boy stayed away for a long time. And when he came back, the tree was so happy she could barely speak. 'Come, boy,' she whispered. (pause, then in a seductive whisper) 'Come boy.'"

In addition, my rock band has learned one whole song in a week and a half, which amounts to about two hours and fifteen minutes of rehearsal time. Take that, y'all.

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I want to be able to fix things that I cannot fix. I want it so badly that it hurts.

I might have been pushing myself too hard lately, but the truth is I have no idea what to cut. Nothing can be cut. Truth is, I don't want to cut anything.

Sometimes things really are easier to face once you've written them down on a postcard, addressed the postcard to PostSecret, and sent them on their way.

I'm starting to worry that the brave face might be stuck, the way your mother warned you would happen when you stuck out your tongue or rolled your eyes.