I reference this song every December, but trust me, this is the background music for this post.
Maybe it's because it's winter.
I'd blame Christmas, but things are usually okay until December 25, and last I checked it isn't Christmas Day yet. I'd blame all the hours I'm working not sleeping, except I'm mostly fine when I'm busy. It's when I sleep or when I'm taking a break that things get bad. I'd blame loneliness, but who has time to be lonely? And, honestly, I'm seeing way more of friends and people in general than usual, owing to my regular trips to Provo and the 40+ people I interact with at work every week. And I only remember the person who was my social filler for a few months there when I wonder how I used to spend all that money.
I've been struggling to hold it together for weeks. For a long time I blamed a lot of valid, extraneous bull, but I'm just getting worse. I've actively tried to try more than one negative coping skill, but luckily they didn't pan out.
Today I decided that my problem is not enough Christmas. This actually seems very valid to me, so I bought a Christmas tree and planned a party. Once it is set up, it's going to look like Dr. Seuss blew up, but it will make me smile, as will the company.
And a certain feline who woke me up the other morning by gently combing my hair with her claws and purring. Then again, I caught her peeing in my shower, so I guess, like with all things, you have to take the good with the bad.
1 comments:
Well, if you have to catch her peeing somewhere, that's kinda the best place, right?
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